


Beyoncé

by serein



Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, Beyonce - Freeform, Drabbles, M/M, Music-based, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:01:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 5,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2256750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serein/pseuds/serein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In honor of the Queen Bey's 33rd birthday (September 4th), I have crafted a series of drabbles/short stories based on Beyoncé's self-titled album.<br/>Enjoy :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pretty Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Pretty Hurts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHMmn1e1oSc). I must apologize that this is largely unbetaed-my beta and I wrote this on a Google Doc and I just added onto his work and he added onto mine.  
> We barely even read each others'.

* * *

PRETTY HURTS

"Manuel?"

"Hmm?"

"What's your aspiration in life?"

"What?"

"What's your aspiration in life?"

"To win the World Cup again, of course."

"No, like...personally."

"Football is personal."

"Okay, as in something that doesn't have to do with football."

"Oh."

"So, what is it?"

"My aspiration in life...well, I wasn't expecting that kind of question, okay, um. My aspiration in life...is to be happy."

Philipp lowers his sunglasses, his chocolate eyes meeting with the serene blue of Manuel's.

"What does that mean?"

"Just...to be happy, you know?"

"What's happy? I don't get what you mean when you say happy. Is that like satisfied with your life?"

"No, it's just-ugh, uh, it's just _happy_. I don't know how you describe happy."

"So how can you make it your aspiration in life if you don't even understand it?"

"Well-you don't have to understand it."

"Me-I understand money, and Claudia, and kids. You-you don't understand _happy_. What does it even mean? Nobody knows."

And with that Philipp leaves-but not without a gentle rub of Manuel's shoulder.

Manuel's thoughts are like starlings-confused, rapid and uncontrollable.

_What is my aspiration in life?_

_Why do I continue?_

_Maybe it's just that I don't have any reason to not continue._

_Why, though?_

_Perhaps it's the perfection of life that I strive for?_

_The perfect goal, the perfect save, the perfect pass, the perfect pitch?_

_Perfect?_

_How can you make anything perfect?_

_How can anything be perfect?_

_Perhaps perfection is the disease-the disease of the nation, the disease of the society._

_It hurts to be pretty, and perfect._

_Because it is not possible to be perfect. And we may die trying._

_And then we will realize that at the end of it all, it was being happy, not perfect._

_Even if nobody knows what happy means._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite song of the album along with Heaven and Blue-I find it them the most soul-searching and honest.


	2. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Haunted/Ghost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rWW58V2_0s).

* * *

HAUNTED

Thomas didn't want this to happen.

He didn't want the drinks or the money or the angel that was Manuel laying next to him now.

He didn't want the laughter or Mario's jokes or Miro's stories about his kids.

He didn't want the altercations or the leap of faith to be with Manuel.

He didn't want anything.

So why is he here?

Why is he still in this white, white room in a white, white bed with the white, white sunlight streaming in?

Because Manuel is hurt.

And it haunts Thomas.

The sound of sirens and the horrid noise of breaking glass.

The mangled cry for help, the choked sob.

Or was the choked sob his own?

Or was it just a distant ghost of his memory?

Was it something that would haunt Thomas forever?

Would it never leave?

No, Thomas tells himself.

Manuel will wake up.

The nightmares will go away.

The cries will be forgotten.

The red lights will disappear.

The sight of a puffy-faced Christoph would fade to black, like a Woody Allen movie.

Manuel will wake up.

Thomas will be able to talk to people again.

He will be able to take a shower.

Read a book.

Eat an Apfelstrudel.

Get in a car.

Get in a car without remembering it.

No, that would be impossible.

But Manuel will wake up.

So that Thomas can stop haunting Manuel, and Manuel can stop haunting Thomas.

Manuel will wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the underrated songs on the album-it's actually quite deep. The Haunted portion is my favorite.


	3. Drunk In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Drunk In Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3d6vx2w35I).

* * *

DRUNK IN LOVE

Manuel cannot remember a time where he has felt like this.

Felt this...fire, this deep, dark emotion that wasn't pretty-it was ugly as hell.

Love, really.

Love, rearing its ugly head, telling Manuel that he was truly in deep.

But not love like hearts and flowers-love like intoxication, like drunk.

Drunk in love.

That's what he was.

All night, he has been drunk in love.

Thomas has driven him into such an insane mood that he is drunk.

Drunk with love, with desire, with the sudden urge to rip off all of each other's clothes.

Right then and there.

Thomas is pulling at him, pulling at his waist, pulling him across the dance floor, whispering seductively, unintelligible words, dirty, dark words that Manuek vows that he will never repeat again, words that Manuel doesn't fully comprehend.

Everything feels like...grunge, dirt, sticky, sloppy...

A mess, a mess, a mess.

A mess, two messes, a mess.

It's all a mess.

He swears that he will wake up the next morning in the kitchen with Thomas and they will say, "How the hell did this happen?"

But for now, they are going to dance.

Party all night long.

They will be drunk.

They will revel in their mood, their state of ecstasy and intensity.

They will stay drunk in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most popular song on the album-I do find it ridiculously provocative :P


	4. Blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Blow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahXMAMfZEuM).

* * *

BLOW

Leaning back, Thomas sits patient, aroused to no end.

Why?

Because Manuel is there.

Manuel Neuer, that is, the sexiest man he has ever known-the most charming, the most handsome, the best smelling...*cough* *cough* *cough*.

And Manuel is doing something that Thomas had never imagined.

Manuel is _stripping_ for Thomas.

A shirtless Manuel is a perfect Manuel.

Unless the shirtless Manuel is also a pantless Manuel.

(That's also quite perfect.)

"Lean back, Thomas, let me eat your skittles..."

"What?"

"Oh darling, you'll see. I'll keep you coming and going, humming and flowing..."

"Now's that just dirty," Thomas, teasing his boyfriend.

"I'm half-naked. What do you expect?"

"Get over here, you filthy bastard."

Thomas forgets that he is sitting on a black couch.

A black couch.

And we all know...when it stains, it stains.

Of course, the next day, Mario laughs for five minutes straight and Marco has to physically restrain him from leaping on Manuel.

But, Thomas admits, the blowjob was all worth it in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The coyest and most sensual song on the album-playful, light.


	5. No Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [No Angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEqLm6eYluY).

* * *

NO ANGEL

"Thomas, please listen."

Manuel's voice is edged with concern, edged with a desperation reminiscent of a mother with her dying child.

"Thomas, please, talk to me."

All he can hear is Thomas' heavy breathing and slight static.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Static.

In.

Static.

Out.

In.

Static.

"Thomas, please baby, please, please come here. I want you to put your arms around me and tell me I'm the problem and tell me I wasn't the guy who you wanted. Please talk to me..."

"Go away."

"Thomas. Please."

"Shut the fuck up."

And he hangs up.

Manuel drops the phone, shocked that for the first time, Thomas has been the one to hang up.

He's never hung up on Manuel.

Why did he hang up?

Sure, Manuel isn't a perfect boy-under the pretty face there's something complicated; and Manuel knows he drives Thomas crazy.

But would Thomas rather he be perfect?

Does Thomas want him to be...a medicine?

Someone who doesn't notice Thomas when Thomas is late or is lying?

No.

Because Thomas is no angel either.

Thomas has been with that _fucking stupid_ little shit, Mario Gómez.

Manuel tasted someone else's cologne on Thomas-a strong, musky cologne that definitely wasn't Thomas.

So Manuel did some investigating.

Sure, he's not _supposed_ to break into Thomas' house, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

No.

You just have to find out from Bastian of all people that Thomas is fucking sleeping with Mario.

_Fuck._

But neither of them were angels, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smoothest track.


	6. Yoncé/Partition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Yoncé/Partition](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifkBc6Vcep8).

* * *

YONCÉ/PARTITION

Manuel and Thomas are alone.

Well, not really.

Alone-ish.

Alone if you count alone in the backseat of a taxi cab with an odd 50+ year old Hispanic man staring suspiciously at you.

Thomas leans towards Manuel, his skin hot to the touch, sticky, and his breath is warm on Manuel's cheek.

"This is all for you, Manuel..."

Coyly, he gestures lewdly to his crotch, grabbing it seductively.

When Manuel looks away, out the window to the blur that is Munich rather the blur that is Thomas's...area, Thomas assumes a mask of offense, and sits there, slightly rejected.

"I just want to be the boy you like, Manuel."

"I do like you."

"But no sex?"

"Not when there's a suspicious bearded man staring at you in the mirror."

Thomas glances up, and indeed, Manuel is right.

"Well, okay. How about a little story?" Thomas purrs, his lips curling into a smirk.

"Okay," Manuel replies, his hands fluttering in his lap.

"But first-hey, driver?"

The driver is shocked, just slightly, that Thomas is talking to him.

"Si, señor?"

"Roll up the partition, will you?"

"Si."

And then Thomas says words Manuel think he will never forget.

"I don't need him seeing me getting on my knees. We took 45 minutes to get all dressed up but you know that we're not going to get to this club, don't you? You're going to get handprints and good grips all over my ass and we're going to show up disheveled and there's going to me you all over my mouth like liquor..."

And with that, Thomas lets the night drown him and Manuel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Provocative.  
> A true dance hit.


	7. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Jealous](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyiUYwHZ7ws). This version is cut short by a minute; if you want to hear it for free you can visit the vimeo link too.

* * *

JEALOUS

_Shit._

Manuel was with that fucker Benedikt again.

How could Manuel do this?

At Cup practice?

Is he fucking kidding?

Thomas wanted to go and deck Benedikt-fling him across Germany, fling him into the ocean.

That little bitch was with _his_ Manuel again.

Crap.

Manuel was looking at him.

_Quick, quick, get with somebody...anybody...Bastian!_

Thomas hastily grabbed the midfielder, smiling innocently. The blond, slightly confused but used to Thomas' antics, played along.

"Hiya, Thomas. What do you want?"

"Nothing much. How've you been, Basti? I feel like I never talk to you anymore..."

"Thomas, you texted me not thirty minutes ago."

"Ah, whatever."

"Uh...okay, Thomas. I'm okay, how about you?"

"You miss Lukas."

Bastian lets out a long exhale and turns away, staring out into the empty bleachers.

Thomas knows the feeling.

Lukas is here, with them, just not _here_.

Yet Basti misses him.

It's kind of the same for himself, Thomas stomachs.

Manuel's there but he's not _there_.

He's always with that stupid fucker Benedikt.

Oh shit, Manuel was looking over.

Look casual...

"Hey Basti, can you show me that pass trick that Toni does?"

"What? Ahh, yes, sure."

Grabbing a clean ball, Basti leads Thomas up the field and proceeds to show him how he should move his legs.

"Can you do it, Basti?"

"Um, okay, fine."

Basti demonstrates, sending a flying ball straight towards André, who gives a disgruntled mumble about the captain being stupid.

"Ooh, can I touch to see how the muscles work?"

"What? Thomas, what are you doing?"

Thomas is now kneeling down next to Bastian, his head suspiciously close to a certain part of Bastian's body and his hands feeling Basti's sculpted calves. Basti is gradually turning redder and redder.

Manuel watches them with a pointed glare, and he tells Benedikt to hold on for a second, stopping the Schalke defender midway through a tangent.

Marching over to where Thomas and Bastian are, his face is starting to match Bastian's. His lips pout, and his eyebrows curl as betrayal and doubt and lack of faith cross Manuel's face, emotion after emotion doing backflips, splits, spread eagles...

Thomas looks up at Manuel, seemingly innocent.

His heart is happy.

He has made Manuel jealous.

"Hallo, Manuel!"

"Don't give me that hallo bullshit, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Thomas tries to seem offended.

"What? Basti was just showing me Toni's pass move..."

"Why the fuck are you having oral sex with him then?"

"What? I'm just seeing how the muscles work."

"That doesn't make any fucking sense."

"This isn't anything, Manuel. Stop being jealous,"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Don't be jealous? When your head is basically sucking at Basti's dick, you expect me not to care?"

Thomas jerks away from Basti and stands up.

"Oh, fuck you. Explain what happened yesterday with Benedikt."

Bastian begins to slowly back away.

Tomas and Manuel appear not to notice.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh, just you two having fucking car sex on the bus."

"We didn't have _car sex_ , Thomas."

"Innocent grinding then?"

"Goddammit, Thomas, stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop...accusing me of this! It's not like I'm sleeping with Benedikt. Why the fuck are you so jealous?"

'You're the one that's fucking jealous!"

"Fuck you!"

"Unlike you, I'm human. So I get fucking jealous. Meanwhile, you're the fucker who gets jealous even when he's sleeping with ten other guys."

With that, Thomas turns off on his heel. A concerned Philipp stands up and starts to head over, but Thomas starts running.

And when he starts running, only Manuel can catch him.

But Manuel doesn't want to catch him.

He's jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the most personal and revealing tracks on the album.  
> Memorable.


	8. Rocket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Rocket](http://vimeo.com/93219517).

* * *

ROCKET

There Manuel sits-innocent, alone, aloof.

Checking his phone-Facebook, perhaps.

How badly Thomas wants to go over there!

How badly he wants to walk over, sit his ass down right in Manuel.

Let Manuel rock up to the side of Thomas' mountain...climb until he reaches the peak.

If you know what he means.

Thomas tries to convince himself he does it like a professional.

Because he has a confession-he's proud of all his business.

And why couldn't Manuel just put it into his face?

Why couldn't Manuel hold him until he screamed for air to breathe, sent all his sins over him, washed that well dry?

He just wants Manuel to rock it, to rock him...

To rock him until the water falls, until Thomas spills...

Rock him steady, rock him hard...

Make Thomas feel like the four seasons are growing in him...

"Thomas?"

"Huh?"

Manuel is standing in front of him, a worried glance cast over his face.

Thomas sizes the blond up.

Perfect.

Smiling coyly, he responds.

"Yeah...I need something."

"I was just leaving, what do you need?"

"Oh, Manuel, how could you be so kind?"

Thomas is nearly purring.

Pulling on Manuel's shirt, he lets them fall onto the bed, a sensual bliss filling the air, filling the mood...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the most explicit songs she has ever created-yet, it's one of my favorite because of how sensual and soulful it is.


	9. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mss7BYI_V8E). The sleeper hit on the album, featuring Drake. Pardon the grammar mistakes on this particular video-the song's in the right pitch and at the right tempo though, which is most important :)

* * *

MINE

__

Are we going to get through this?

__

Are we even going to make it?

__

Manuel, please talk to me.

__

Me, being wherever I'm at, worried about wherever you are.

__

Worried.

__

I'm worried.

__

Please.

__

Manuel.

__

Manuel.

__

Manuel, I need you.

__

You're mine-you're really mine.

__

You're mine, Manuel, and I'm yours.

__

Fuck what you heard.

__

You're mine.

__

Can we stop holding this back?

__

Take the next step?

__

Do you not trust me, or you, or us?

__

Do you not trust us?

__

How can you not trust us?

__

Why?

__

Why?

__

It doesn't make any sense.

__

You're mine.

__

I'm yours.

__

FUCK what you heard, Manuel!

__

FUCK IT!

__

All I'm really asking for is _you_ , Manuel.

__

I miss you so much.

__

I miss feeling on you, I miss everything that's real and true about you.

__

Manuel.

__

Manuel.

__

Please.

__

Please talk to me.

__

Why won't you talk to me?

__

Manuel.

__

I thought you were mine.

__

You are mine.

__

Not Benedikt's.

__

Manuel.

__

Manuel, please.

__

I'm yours.

__

I'm really, really yours.

__

I promise you I won't touch Mario or Basti or Toni.

__

Don't you trust me?

__

Don't you have faith in me?

__

Please talk to me, Manuel.

__

Why are you doing this to me?

__

Don't you love me?

__

Manuel.

__

Manuel.

__

__Manuel. __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the best songs off of the album-revealing and doubting yet smooth (as are many Drake songs).


	10. XO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [XO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xUfCUFPL-8). I recommend watching the video for this one too in your spare time-arguably one of my favorite Beyoncé videos because of how natural and bright and effortless and beautiful it is :)

XO

"Manuel. Don't. Please. Don't come over here."

"Thomas, we need to go...we need to go. Basti and Lukas are getting married, remember? Err-they're already married, just like the reception is right now. Thomas, come on! We're going to be late!"

"You can go, then, I'm not moving."

"Thomas, get out of the corner. And why are you holding my shaving raz-Thomas. No, Thomas, don't do this. Thomas. Thomas, don't."

"I don't have a choice."

"Thomas. Please."

"Go away."

"You expect me to go away?"

"You're fucking annoying."

"Thomas. Please don't do this to yourself."

"Fucking go away! Fuck you, Manuel! Fucking leave me alone."

"Thomas, please don't make me go. Please don't do this. I love you, okay? I'm sorry about Benedikt, just...please, Thomas, please, just let me stay."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you going to nag me even in my final hour? Are you gonna boss me around with your fucking leadership issues? Are you going to tell me, _ooh, Thomas, you're doing this wrong, you should be hanging the noose like this_? I wouldn't be surprised if you would! You're a fucking asshole. Get the fuck out."

"Thomas. No. No, you can't make me leave."

"Want me to to just do it right in front of you then?"

"No, Thomas, no, I love you."

"I bet that's what you tell Benedikt every day. Every fucking day."

"Thomas, please. Please, Thomas, you can't do this."

"I can fucking do whatever I want."

"Thomas. I need you to listen."

"Do you want me to kick you in the balls? Do you want me to throw your clothes out the window? Do you want me to throw a fit? Do you want me to tear up the bed sheets? What do you want me to do that will make you leave me alone?"

"Thomas."

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't understand why it's so hard for you to understand that no, I don't fucking want anything from you, and no, I don't want you to fucking boss me around like I'm 10. I'm 25. I am fucking old enough to think for myself without you having to do it for me!"

"Thomas, please, please, please, don't kill yourself."

"Even if I did you probably wouldn't give a fuck."

"Shut your fucking mouth. Do you know how fucking wrecked I'd be?"

"Probably from partying that your brat had fucking pulled the trigger."

"Thomas. We don't have forever."

"Genius. Fucking genius."

"Kiss me, Thomas."

"Oh, fuck you. I'm going to fucking plug myself and you want me to fucking kiss you?"

"Thomas, please."

"Fucking hell."

"Thomas, let me tell you about what I think of you."

"Oh, I've heard fucking enough. Do you want me to go pick up the fucking vase of FUCKING yellow flowers to throw at you?"

"When I first met you, I thought, "Holy shit. This kid is fucking talented."

"Half the fucking world said that after the world cup."

"And slowly, I found out how fucking annoying you were."

"Oh, go fuck yourself."

"You were a fucking pain in the ass."

"No fucking duh. You are too."

"And I fucking hated you."

"Well, thank you. Now I know that when I go jump you won't miss me."

"But guess what? Now...I don't."

"Fuck."

"I love you, Thomas. I love you in every fiber of my being, I love you so damn much that it hurts to think that you think I don't love you as much as I do. In that darkest night hour, I know that when I search through the crowd, your face will be all I see. You're everything I need, Thomas. I wish I could give you everything you wanted and be the one who you want me to be but I'm just...Manuel Neuer, fucking star goalkeeper who can't even fucking control his own emotions..."

"I don't believe you."

"I wish, Thomas, that my love would be bright enough to penetrate your shadows. I wish that...I could kiss you before they turn the lights out, before the voices swamp in. I wish that I could make you realize that I don't know if I could really live with you gone. Maybe I'd live, but I wouldn't _live_. I'd just...exist."

"Don't give me that bullshit, you don't need me."

"You saved my life?"

"Funny. When?"

"Four years ago. I was going to do exactly what you want to do right now."

"But Robert?"

"I didn't care. I loved Enke-he was my hero. But I didn't care anymore."

"Why didn't you do it? Why didn't you do it, when everything hurt?"

"Because...you and I had met, already."

"So fucking what?"

"I didn't want you to ever feel sad because I did something."

"You're making me feel fucking sad right now."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay to be sad, sometimes. Being happy all the time is tiring."

"Yeah. But will you smile for me, Thomas?"

"Good?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Because now I feel doubt."

"Oh."

"I hate doubt. You know that I don't play with doubt on the field."

"A little doubt is good, too."

"I know. But I hate it. I hate it so much."

"I love you, Thomas."

"I know. I don't know if I love you back."

"That's okay. Be honest with yourself."

"I am."

"Good."

"I don't think that I'm ready to love you yet."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I love you like XO, Thomas."

"XO?"

"Hugs and kisses."

"Oh. That doesn't make any sense."

"It means that I'm sending you my love."

"Oh."

"I love you."

"Okay."

"Are we going to go to Basti's reception?"

"No. We're going to go on a drive."

"To where?"

"To Munich."

"But we're in Munich."

"Exactly."

"Sex?"

"No. We're going to get into the car."

"And?"

"Drive."

"Okay."

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopeful.


	11. ***Flawless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [***Flawless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17hPCHLMpyM).

* * *

FLAWLESS

He was ready.

Wasn't he?

Manuel was...waiting for him, certainly.

The bitches would bow down, the kings would kneel.

And he wasn't just his little husband.

He was a vicious beast-a fierce bitch who could engage any snide snitch in hand-to-hand combat.

Unless, of course, the snide snitch was a spider, because he's not touching that-that shit's nasty.

The boo can get that.

Or was he?

Was he really everything?

Was he really the flawless being everyone put him out to be?

Was that really fair to say?

Did he wake up like this?

Flawless?

Will the ladies and the gents tell him he was flawless?

Of course.

But.

What if they didn't?

Did it even matter?

No, of course not.

He knew he was flawless.

Manuel knew he was flawless too.

And perhaps, just for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fierce, powerful, and empowering.


	12. Superpower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Superpower](http://vimeo.com/85366675).  
> A doo-wop funk mix.

* * *

SUPERPOWER

_A world without Thomas would hurt._

_Really._

_I'm not quite sure how I would work._

_If that did happen, of course._

_How would I function?_

_Could I ever go on the field again without thinking of him?_

_When the palms of my hands hold each other it feels different than if he holds me._

_When my voice rings out to my ears, it sounds different than if he talks to me-even if he talks to much._

_Germany hails me as a hero-but I'm not a superpower._

_At least not to me._

_Perhaps Thomas is my superpower._

_It's a tough love-like a shark, like a bear._

_It'll bite you if you get too close._

_Maul you to death._

_Can I really live without Thomas?_

_Is it because nothing will break us down?_

_I don't whether anything will break us down._

_I thought the world would revolve without us-maybe I was wrong._

_It doesn't._

_Or does it?_

_Will it continue? Will it continue if Thomas doesn't?_

_No, I can't think about that._

_Maybe it will-but I can't afford that, anymore._

_Maybe our love will be the superpower._

_Let's hope that it'll be strong enough to keep Thomas with me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love is the superpower that reigns supreme.  
> Introspective.


	13. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NQODloST-g). The most powerful ballad on the album. Perhaps Beyoncé's most vulnerable song of all time-it speaks of the dark path that she took to receive closure after her miscarriage.

* * *

HEAVEN

  


_Thomas._

_Please._

_I need you._

_I can't go without you._

_Please don't go._

_Please, please._

_Fight through._

_Please, God, lock heaven, just for a minute, just for a second._

_Please don't let him go._

_Please._

_Thomas, Thomas, Thomas._

_Thomas._

_Please, Thomas, please don't do this to me._

_Thomas._

_I fought for you, Thomas._

_You made me the strongest, the best._

_Please, tell me your secrets-I can't let you leave._

_Thomas._

_Thomas, you can't go._

_You can't leave me here._

_Thomas._

_Thomas._

_Please, don't make me go, let me stay with Thomas._

_Thomas._

_Please don't go, Thomas._

_Don't go to heaven._

_Even if it can't wait for you._

_It can't wait for your horses and your jokes and your smiles._

_Please._

_Thomas, I need you._

_Please, Thomas, you can't._

_We stood on the ceilings together._

_You showed me that love was all we needed._

_Thomas, don't leave me._

_I want you with me._

_I need you with me._

_Thomas._

_Thomas._

_Thomas._

_Oh, God, there was so much blood._

_But he has to be regaining it._

_He has to be._

_He's healthy._

_The cells are dividing...he's making more blood._

_He's going to be okay._

_God, he's going to be okay._

_Thomas, you need to be okay for me._

_You need to be okay for me, and for Bastian, and for Miro, and Philipp, and for Lukas, and for everyone._

_Thomas._

_Please, Thomas, please._

_Thomas._

_Please, I need you with me._

_You make me happy._

_Your love haunts me when I'm away from you._

_Your love is like a drug-it makes me drunk._

_Thomas, you can't leave._

_Every single day, I look forward to seeing your face._

_God, I love your face._

_You're not an angel-but that's okay._

_We don't need the world looking in-it's just you and me._

_You and me,_

_Because we're strong._

_And you're going to live._

_I'm sorry for making you jealous._

_I love you so much._

_Send all your sins, send all your faults over me, Thomas. I'll take your pain._

_I'll take the hurt._

_I'll protect you._

_You're mine._

_I'm yours._

_We're each others._

_In that last hour, I search through the crowd and you're all I see, Thomas._

_You're always all I see._

_Thomas, please._

_Thomas._

_Thomas._

_I need you._

_You and I-our love is flawless._

_No._

_Maybe not._

_But it's our superpower._

_And now, you can't go to heaven, or hell, or purgatory._

_You can't go home to heaven._

_You need to stay here._

_With me._

_Please, Thomas, stay with me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vulnerable, delicate, and powerful.


	14. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to [Blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpNvJNmoAa8).

* * *

BLUE

"Thomas? Are you awake? I have croissants from the bakery."

"Yeah," Thomas replied, groggy. "How did you get croissants? Did you bribe the baker with an autograph? Bad boy."

"The bakery had croissants because of a special-you should know better than to accuse me of bribing him with an autograph. Can I come in now?"

"Sure, yeah, yeah." Pushing the duvet cover to the side a little, Thomas sits on the bed.

Manuel enters, rosy-cheeked, a smile plastered on his face, holding a plate of fresh-baked croissants and a small cup of tea to the side. Taking steps with caution, he inches his way to Thomas' bedside, sitting next to the tired man. The tray gives a soft clink as Thomas picks up the small cup of tea, encircling both hands around the circumference of the glass, sipping.

"Do you feel better, Thomas?"

"Kinda. You?"

"Don't worry about me, does anything still hurt?"

"Well, my neck, because, you know, the stitches. And I'm experiencing weird chest pain...it's my heart, I'm going to die, bye Manuel."

Thomas mock falls over, faking a heart attack, but when he pulls himself back up and props his pillows behind his back, he sees that Manuel is not as nearly amused.

Not amused at all, really.

"Don't do that to me."

"Do what?"

"Try things like that. I already almost lost you once. I don't think I can survive another time of finding your limp body..."

"I'm sure it made you 'limp'."

"Stop, Thomas, it's not funny."

"Okay."

Thomas is only slightly dejected-he knows he's just pressing Manuel's buttons.

"The tea's nice."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

The silence that follows isn't awkward, or harsh.

It's just there.

Manuel shifts, propping his legs onto the bed and leaning against the headboard of his bed.

Sunlight has started to stream in-dawn is already gone.

Time seems to slip, slip, slip away-far too quickly for Manuel's liking.

Thomas leans into Manuel's wide chest, nestling his head into the warm muscle.

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?"

"When you said you loved me."

"That's an awfully cliché thing to say."

"Yeah, but you said it."

"That's true. Well...sometimes, the walls seem to cave in on me and when I look into your eyes, Thomas, I feel...alive, like everything's going to be okay."

"You're like a living, breathing Woody Allen movie."

"Yeah."

Manuel blushes but Thomas doesn't seem to notice.

Sighing, Thomas' head falls back into Manuel's chest and they breathe together.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

With a tinge of sadness, Manuel smiles, weakly. .

Looking up at his partner, Thomas sees Manuel's lined faced, noticing that, for the first time, Manuel has a slight wrinkle around his eyes.

"Are you okay? You look like you've aged five years."

"I just...wish that this would last forever. Not the you hurting. But just the feeling of warmth and holding someone tight."

"Cliché, again."

"But true. I feel blessed to be with you."

"But I thought I was annoying."

"We fall in love with annoying people sometimes. I don't understand how Bastian is with someone who uses 'aha' every thirty words..."

"But you're not annoying to me."

"Don't lie."

"Okay, fine, maybe a little, when you boss me around. I'm not 7, you know."

"No, you're thirteen."

"And you're one."

"Together we make fourteen."

"Is Julian Draxler our baby then?"

"Maybe."

"Scandalous."

"Yup."

"Why do you love me?"

"What?"

"I said, why do you love me?"

"I...I don't know."

"How can you be so sure about something you don't know."

"I'm not sure."

"So you don't love me."

"No, I love you."

"So why aren't you sure?"

"I love you so damn much that it hurts to talk about it. But that doesn't mean I'm sure about it."

"You're confusing, Manu."

"Yeah, maybe that's the case."

"Maybe it is."

"Hey, Thomas?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me back?"

"Maybe. I like you a lot."

"Well, I like Benedikt a lot, but I don't love him."

"Oh. I don't understand what you mean, then, by 'do you love me back'."

"That's okay."

"I love you like XO."

"That means you love me."

"Oh. Okay then, I love you."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you want me to not love you?"

"No."

"Okay, then. Accept it."

"Okay. Maybe we can love each other without being sure of it."

"We can do that."

"Okay."

Manuel takes to patting Thomas' hair gently, stroking the mess of curls that has rested itself on his chest. How could he protect something so beautiful without evil?

Well, he was there. Maybe he was enough to keep the evils out.

Maybe he wasn't.

He'd try, though.

And there, in the end of the blue hour of the morning, Manuel felt as if he was happy.

And perhaps, for now, it would be enough-enough for him, enough for Thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.
> 
> This used to be written for the whole German NT-one song for every ship.  
> At the last minute, I changed it to be Neuller exclusively-if there are inconsistencies, let me know.  
> I hope that you enjoyed this series-more importantly, I hope that you discovered a new favorite in Beyoncé's beautiful album.  
> I recommend you purchasing it eventually :)
> 
> Authorship (first name is primary contribution):  
> Pretty Hurts-Leon  
> Haunted-Leon  
> Drunk in Love-Leon + Max  
> Blow-Leon  
> No Angel-Leon + Max  
> Yoncé/Partition-Leon  
> Jealous-Max + Leon  
> Rocket-Leon  
> Mine-Max  
> XO-Max + Leon  
> ***Flawless-Leon  
> Superpower-Leon  
> Heaven-Max + Leon  
> Blue-Leon + Max  
> ^This is only because I owe Max so much credit and I don't feel right not attributing anything to him.
> 
> So-  
> Concrit is love, comments are appreciated.
> 
> Gina-I hope you're satisfied :D  
> Sarah-as always, thank you for everything you do.  
> Fira-I'm quite sorry I couldn't do anything for you-I hope that that collab gets into motion though :D
> 
> -Leon


End file.
